Arrow In Flight

Today Kaylee boards a plane to head to orientation for a 7 week trip to South Africa to teach English among refugees. She’ll leave orientation next Tuesday for a 26 hour journey to South Africa.

Where did the time go? It seems like just last week she was hanging from a Velcro seat belt in an upside down, battery powered Barbie Jeep with her brother. Not only has her driving vastly improved since then but she has turned into a strong, independent young woman with a heart for God and an adventurous spirit.

I can still remember when she told us she wanted to travel with CIEE and the Dominican Republic didn’t seem too daunting a place to send our 14 year old. But when she was assigned to Ghana instead, I had a momentary crisis of belief. God loves her more than I do and the whole point of raising kids is to launch them into the world, right?

So, we sent her to Africa for three weeks with a team of high school students from around the country. It was life changing for all of us. Shelley and I learned how to trust God with our kids in a whole new way. Caleb learned how much he missed his sister when she wasn’t around.

Kaylee went through a transformation. Simply put, she bloomed.

During that trip, amid all the challenges of avoiding malaria, yellow fever and typhoid, she met a young girl named Priscilla. I don’t want to be over dramatic but I think the impact Kaylee and Priscilla had on each other is incalculable. (It’s not the first time a Priscilla has impacted our family. There’s that Edwards clan from Sanford who can attest to that. Story for another day I guess.)

Priscilla was enamored with Kaylee’s height and hair and Disney bracelet. Kaylee was captivated by Priscilla’s cuteness, joy and spirit. I fully expected Kaylee to smuggle her home. It would have been fine with me.

My favorite story from Kaylee’s trip to Ghana was when Priscilla asked Kaylee to “make me tall like you”. So, Kaylee stooped down and picked her up. It was a simple moment but truly profound. Isn’t that the calling of every missionary? When does a person stand taller than when they place their faith in God? Isn’t our highest work to empower and elevate those around us? Is there anything more noble than using your strengths and privilege to level the playing field?

Well done beautiful Daughter. You have become my teacher.

There was no doubt when Kaylee returned from Ghana, it would not be her last trip abroad for adventure and mission. She began planning for another trip almost immediately. She’s planned for Jamaica, Bosnia and Macedonia only to have circumstances and COVID interrupt those plans.

She’s been to Puerto Rico three times to put roofs on houses after a hurricane. The first time she and Shelley spent a week there. The second time Paul and Heidy Hooker were her substitute parents for the week. The relationships she built with Adrian, Zulma and Pastor Laura are enviable.

She planned a third trip in December of 2019 and was going by herself to work with a team from Sanford on the last week teams from NC were going to be working there. She wanted one last visit before the work was done.

It was one of the greatest weeks of my life to secretly plan to join her and surprise her by going with her. I planned to just pack and get out with her at the airport the day she was leaving but she saw my name on the ticket when she was checking in online the day before. Her reaction was priceless. I am glad to say she was excited I was going.

Few things make you prouder as a parent than to hear other adults genuinely bragging on your kid. It was like that the whole week. When the church folks in San Juan found out I was her dad they treated me like a celebrity and made sure to brag on Kaylee. I think they thought I had something to do with how great she is. We all know God and her mama had more to do with that than I did.

The picture at the top of the page is a favorite moment from they week. Adrian was so patient and encouraging to let Kaylee get on the roof and work. He had so much fun cutting up with her. In the picture you can see we were scrambling to beat the rain. That’s when the rainbow appeared almost as if God was saying, “Keep working hard but I’m in charge of the rain.” It was a great moment as a part of a great week. I am so thankful for the opportunity to serve with her on her turf.

I was recently asked if I was scared for Kaylee to go to South Africa for nearly 2 months. Well, like any parent, I worry a little bit that she will be safe and healthy and have a great experience. But, I’m not scared. She’s tougher than I give her credit for. She’s way smarter than I was at her age. She’s independent and capable. She’s got an army of people praying for her and supporting her. God is mighty in her. He called her to this and He will see her through this.

Not because of my wisdom or strength but it seems to me Kaylee doesn’t need me to protect her from there world. No, she needs to be launched, sent on mission. In a sense, we have pulled back the bow, aimed as best we can and in faith have let go of the bow string. Our Arrow is away, aimed at her calling and mission. Gods grace can make the minor corrections needed to make sure she hits her target.

Kaylee, you gentle warrior with a big heart, joyful spirit and mischievous spirit: GO BOLDLY. Walk with God. Don’t pick a fight with the devil but don’t let him bully you either. Make people laugh. Love people well. Give out some needed hugs. Hold some babies. Cry with those people who are hurting. Look people in the eye and call them by their name even if you butcher the pronunciation. Teach some English. Learn some other languages. Take a lot of pictures. Find some cool clothes and shoes. Keep cramming the suitcase full. Make a difference. Leave the world behind you a better place. Know that mom and dad are your biggest fans and believe more for you than you can imagine. See you soon, somewhere in the world.

I wish I could have had this perspective when Kaylee and Caleb were younger. Looking back, it seemed like what I was trying to teach wasn’t landing but turns out what really matters to you somehow seems to get through to your kids. I am proud both of my kids love to laugh and serve people. It also seemed like they inevitably picked up the things I didn’t want them to from me. I wish I could de-program the insecurity, temper and avoidance of conflict.

For those of you who are still fashioning and aiming the arrow, I want to give you some encouragement. They turn out okay in spite of us. They are in God’s hands anyway. He has a great eraser. By all means, keep trying, working hard and doing your best. But, rest in the knowledge that He is the Great Shepherd and His specialty is herding cats. After all most of us parents are exhibit A, right?

Your fellow sojourner,

Carl