Long post warning. Reflections on my father in law.
For those you who don’t know, Shelley and I met on a blind date January 22, 1991.
This first time I met Shelley’s dad, I was nervous already. To make matters worse, his retirement paperwork from the Army reserves had been frozen for months and he had just found out he was being called up for Desert Storm. So the first time I met him, he was on the phone with a family member having a blunt conversation about the intelligence and sanity of those who had made such decisions.
Truthfully I don’t remember too much about the first meeting other than his unhappiness with being called up and the fact he was so big and intimidating. If you had told me then he would be the one whose voice would crack with emotion as he prayed over his family at gatherings, I would have never believed you.
Steve didn’t smile much. He didn’t make a lot of small talk. He didn’t show much emotion or passion (aside from getting riled up over some injustice every once in a while). He wasn’t a warm fuzzy kinda guy. I was intimidated and assumed he just didn’t like me. In fairness, what dad really likes his baby girl’s boyfriend?
Back then, I could never imagined how much Steve would influence me in three decades. By far, my relationship with Steve has been the most pleasant surprise. I was reading him all wrong.
Steve is incredibly practical and studies issues from all sides. So when I felt like God was calling me to ministry and Steve asked questions and made suggestions about having a fall back plan and being financially smart, I at first took his suggestions and questions as being unsupportive. I now know he wasn’t being unsupportive at all. He was thinking through things I hadn’t considered in hopes that he might provide helpful insight.
The same was true when I asked him for his blessing to marry Shelley. His wisdom and practicality seemed so out of touch to this naive youngster with a hopeless romantic heart.
Fast forward to our wedding day. I understand that right before they opened the door to walk down the aisle Steve turned to Shelley and told her, “Listen, if you have any doubt that this is the right thing for you, we can turn around and walk out the front doors of this church and call the whole thing off no matter how much it costs.” Now that I have a daughter I understand just how much that means. I plan to steal that line.
I cannot count how many times he’s helped us move from one ministry assignment to another. I cannot count the times he has helped remodel or renovate our house. I cannot count the miles he’s driven to visit us. Only heaven knows how many hours he’s called my name before Heaven’s throne – I would guess beside my wife, Steve has prayed for me more than any other person. There’s no telling how many fives and twenties he’s slipped the kids through the years.
There is one thing I can count with certainty. Not one time has he ever visited and left without hugging me, telling me he loved me and that he was proud of me. Those of you who know my story understand the weight of that.
Through the years, I have come to know a playful and joyful side of Steve. I see it most as he interacts with the grandkids. It’s almost magical to watch the tough persona fade and the proud Papa shine through. I’ve seen it most at the yearly vacation at White Lake. It’s a yearly tradition for him to throw the kids in off the pier and for them to reciprocate, obviously with his cooperation. He even bought a boat so the kids would not be stuck on the land all week. He even got behind it and showed the kids he could still ski.
I once heard an expression: “Still waters run deep”. It’s a proverb that means a quiet or placid manner may conceal a more passionate nature. I think it sums Steve up quite well.
This Father’s Day I’d like to say a big Happy Father’s Day to Steve. Thank you for loving in your faithful, practical way. My world, no, our worlds, are better because of you.
Grateful hearted,
Carl
Snapshots For The Soul 